Hello fellow citizen of the Interwebs. I am David Thorsrud. You have probably found this page because you are either 1) looking at www.thorsrud.com through a Blackberry or similar device which ignores that all-important universal language - no, not love - javascript; or 2) you are a person of technical prowess who Viewed Source in their browser to see what was behind the curtain. In either case, you are probably wondering if I am Chuck Norris, or Chuck Norris' alter ego, or something similar. The answer is a humble no. Though Charles is delighted. This is obvious because I don't know kung fu. I can barely flail.

But enough about me. Let's talk about HTML: HyperText Markup Language. Because it is better than kung fu. It makes shit happen. Like this! HTML is basically the ninja of the Interwebs. You don't usually see it. But that's because you're not supposed to see it. HTML was born with an invisibility shield. After seventy-five years, Chuck still hasn't found one.

Like that. Still didn't see anything did you?

If Chuck Norris and HTML were in a fight, HTML would win. Because Chuck doesn't have invisibility and HTML does, HTML would sneak up on him and drop the css before Chuck even knew he was being attacked. HTML also moves at the speed of light (over fiber, fo reals yo) and Chuck rides a horse.

All of that aside, you are probably wondering how to contact me to verify my real identity. Unfortunately, you'll have to use the contact button in the upper right of the web page which, if you're on a Blackberry or similar, is only visible from a web browser or an iPhone or something that supports javascript. I do this because posting an email address is the fastest way to get a tenfold increase in email offers from lonely women and rich Nigerians—neither whom are truly interested in me as a person and probably, like you, just think that I'm Chuck Norris incognito.